It's been a while since my last post. Rest assured...everything is fine. In fact, almost too fine. I've been so caught up with being normal I put off posting. Going back to where I left off. It was getting close to Valentine's day and still no hair loss. I thought it was pretty bold for my Breast Care team to be able to tell me the actual day I would see my hair loss. I was convinced they were wrong because on the morning of February 13th, I still had no hair loss. Actually, I take that back, I didn't have to shave my legs. But I still had all my hair on my head and I even tried to pull and no luck in removing hair.
I went to work and by afternoon realized I was the one who was too confident. Why on earth did I actually even try to think I was "different" and my medical team predicted my hair loss wrong? I was in a meeting and casually ran my hand through my hair...OH MY GOODNESS! I was able to pull probably 15 or so hairs out. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was shocked. I let myself cry my two tears and then I couldn't wait to show my friends that it was happening.
By Friday (02/15), the hair loss was in full swing and it was chemo day. I was determined though to wait until the weekend to shave my head. Thank goodness I had thick hair so it really just looked thinned down. I'm happy to announce that chemo #2 was even more normal than the 1st time around. Adam and I showed up at 8:45. I brought a lighter load of things to keep me occupied this time. They brought me back, took my temperature and vitals and then it was time to go back to chemo. We had our choice of seats again and picked a nice secluded section in the back corner.
I was a little nervous, hoping that my port didn't act up this time around. I got my mask on and Kelly (my nurse) put her's on while she accessed my port. To my relief, the port worked perfectly! She got me all set up to where I was ready to receive chemo and then we were off to an exam room to meet with my oncologist for a check-up. Everything looked good and blood work came back good so I was cleared for chemo #2. Before I knew it, I was on my laptop trying to catch up on some email from work and Adam watched some tv.
We had our dear friend, Andre, visit again. He is so nice to take time out of his day and come sit with us during the treatment and keep us entertained. One of these days we will convince him to come to lunch with us. It's always nice to have company to keep us distracted from the reality of why we are there.
After chemo, Adam and I went to lunch at Chili's. BAD IDEA! If there is one piece of advice I can give about how I handle chemo it's that unhealthy food and chemo do not mix. While it tasted okay at the time, I paid for it later that night with the nausea. I didn't throw up but I was not having a good time. All in all, the rest of the weekend was mild. Even the muscle pain from the Neulasta wasn't even comparable to what it was the first time around. The nausea overall was worse but I wonder if that's in part my fault.
On Saturday morning, I knew it was time to shave my head. I was tired of being covered in hair. I called my neighbor Julie and she came over to help take pictures and videotape the event. Adam got his cutters and we went to town buzzing my head. I didn't want to shave it all the way down knowing I was immunosuppresed and didn't want to possibly cut myself and risking infection so we held off on that. But obviously we had to have some fun so first we did a mo hawk and then colored it pink and blue. Then it was time to go bald. All in all, it was somewhat liberating to shave my head. The way I look at it is I still got to have some control on when I went bald. Also, a good friend of mine who went through the head shave experience told me to look at it as a sign of the chemo doing exactly what it was supposed to. Since then, I've shaved it down to where my skin is baby soft. It's a weird in the fact that it's my head yet nice kinda soft. Now all I need is a white t-shirt, some rubber cleaning gloves and a spray bottle and I'll be Mr. Clean's sister. :)
If there's anything I have learned, it is to always look for the positive. Yeah the nausea was worse this time, so much so that I'm now taking another medication for acid reflux, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm just thankful it's not worse where I'm visiting the porcelain god every 5 minutes or contracting some type of infection.
Alright folks, that's 2 AC chemo treatments down....2 more to go. Next one is Friday!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Sunday, February 10, 2013
L-A-Z-Y Movie kinda weekend
Ok, so I think I left off with Friday night and that I felt fine aside from feeling a little tipsy. I still went to bed early (for a Friday night) figuring I should get as much rest as I can.
The next morning, I got up, took a shower, and knew it was time to cut my hair. This was a bittersweet moment for me. I've been letting my hair grow for about 2 years in preparation for our wedding this past November. But...it was time. I put my hair in a ponytail, got my best craft scissors, and made sure the video camera was ready to go. Adam cut my hair for me and Ariel recorded the whole thing. It is so weird how light my head felt after all that. In all, we cut off 15 inches of hair! And my hair still goes to my shoulders and I can still put it in a ponytail.
Ariel had to leave pretty soon after and Adam was ecstatic for our l-a-z-y weekend ahead. We spent the rest of the day pretty much on the couch, just making sure to take it easy. It was the perfect movie weekend. I felt pretty good that day. Just a small headache that motrin took care of and some mild indigestion. Otherwise....that was it. If there was one thing I have learned in preparation of chemo, it was how important it is to stay hydrated. I drank more water/juice that weekend than I ever have and I'd like to think that it helped. I also read that the chemo actually does it's job in 4-8 hours after getting it. From there it's critical you flush your system to get the toxin out of your body, hence the importance of staying hydrated.
Later that night, Adam gave me the Neulasta shot, pretty painless. Again, I went to bed fairly early knowing that for most people, day 3-4 is the worst of the chemo so I didn't know what to expect for Sunday. I woke up Sunday and I knew it was kicking in. I was achy in my muscles. It was weird though because it was only from the top of my neck down to the last rib and everything in between. I took some motrin and that seemed to help a little, but not really. I stayed on the couch all day and it seemed ridiculous with all the medication I was taking. Once the motrin wore off we decided to try the oxycodone but that too didn't seem to help. So I just laid on the couch the rest of the day trying not to move too much. Thankfully, the medication was good and helped me sleep.
Monday came and still the muscle pain. In some ways it was the same in that the pain was still there but in other ways it was better in that it was no longer concentrated in my upper body but had spread all throughout my body, just not as intense. I emailed my nurse, Kelly, to see if there was some other pain medication they could recommend for the side effects and come to find out I wasn't taking enough pain medicine. I took the right dose this time and boy did that make all the difference. I was able to take it easy the rest of the day feeling tired but otherwise okay.
I figured it would be best to plan to stay home Tuesday in case the body pain was still there. I woke up Tuesday morning with the pain gone. I felt great actually. Adam was with me and we figured we would just extend the lazy weekend 1 more day. I got up to work from home and even cleaned the kitchen. But after that....whoa....I felt the fatigue. It was weird....something that I normally could do with little effort took soooo much out of me. This is what they meant by the fatigue. So, I took it easy that day by just slowing down...taking longer than I normally would to do everyday things.
I decided it was time to go back to work the next day. I was able to work the rest of the week but I definitely felt the fatigue. I would have to take breaks but so long as I moved slow, I was okay. Each day I felt stronger and stronger and by Friday, I felt pretty much back to 100%.
Sadly, it's only 5 more days until the next round. I've got mixed emotions about it. I'm excited because come Friday night, this means I'll be half-way done with the "bad chemo". But, at the same time, I know what's coming. While it wasn't too bad and I'm extremely thankful for that, it definitely wasn't fun. So...I guess I'll just enjoy the good days I have coming knowing that next weekend will be another l-a-z-y movie weekend.
The next morning, I got up, took a shower, and knew it was time to cut my hair. This was a bittersweet moment for me. I've been letting my hair grow for about 2 years in preparation for our wedding this past November. But...it was time. I put my hair in a ponytail, got my best craft scissors, and made sure the video camera was ready to go. Adam cut my hair for me and Ariel recorded the whole thing. It is so weird how light my head felt after all that. In all, we cut off 15 inches of hair! And my hair still goes to my shoulders and I can still put it in a ponytail.
Ariel had to leave pretty soon after and Adam was ecstatic for our l-a-z-y weekend ahead. We spent the rest of the day pretty much on the couch, just making sure to take it easy. It was the perfect movie weekend. I felt pretty good that day. Just a small headache that motrin took care of and some mild indigestion. Otherwise....that was it. If there was one thing I have learned in preparation of chemo, it was how important it is to stay hydrated. I drank more water/juice that weekend than I ever have and I'd like to think that it helped. I also read that the chemo actually does it's job in 4-8 hours after getting it. From there it's critical you flush your system to get the toxin out of your body, hence the importance of staying hydrated.
Later that night, Adam gave me the Neulasta shot, pretty painless. Again, I went to bed fairly early knowing that for most people, day 3-4 is the worst of the chemo so I didn't know what to expect for Sunday. I woke up Sunday and I knew it was kicking in. I was achy in my muscles. It was weird though because it was only from the top of my neck down to the last rib and everything in between. I took some motrin and that seemed to help a little, but not really. I stayed on the couch all day and it seemed ridiculous with all the medication I was taking. Once the motrin wore off we decided to try the oxycodone but that too didn't seem to help. So I just laid on the couch the rest of the day trying not to move too much. Thankfully, the medication was good and helped me sleep.
Monday came and still the muscle pain. In some ways it was the same in that the pain was still there but in other ways it was better in that it was no longer concentrated in my upper body but had spread all throughout my body, just not as intense. I emailed my nurse, Kelly, to see if there was some other pain medication they could recommend for the side effects and come to find out I wasn't taking enough pain medicine. I took the right dose this time and boy did that make all the difference. I was able to take it easy the rest of the day feeling tired but otherwise okay.
I figured it would be best to plan to stay home Tuesday in case the body pain was still there. I woke up Tuesday morning with the pain gone. I felt great actually. Adam was with me and we figured we would just extend the lazy weekend 1 more day. I got up to work from home and even cleaned the kitchen. But after that....whoa....I felt the fatigue. It was weird....something that I normally could do with little effort took soooo much out of me. This is what they meant by the fatigue. So, I took it easy that day by just slowing down...taking longer than I normally would to do everyday things.
I decided it was time to go back to work the next day. I was able to work the rest of the week but I definitely felt the fatigue. I would have to take breaks but so long as I moved slow, I was okay. Each day I felt stronger and stronger and by Friday, I felt pretty much back to 100%.
Sadly, it's only 5 more days until the next round. I've got mixed emotions about it. I'm excited because come Friday night, this means I'll be half-way done with the "bad chemo". But, at the same time, I know what's coming. While it wasn't too bad and I'm extremely thankful for that, it definitely wasn't fun. So...I guess I'll just enjoy the good days I have coming knowing that next weekend will be another l-a-z-y movie weekend.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
AC Chemo #1
Ok...AC Chemo #1 came and went. I'm happy to report that 1 week later I feel back to 100% my usual self! But...it was definitely not a walk in the park. Here's my experience of the 1st time.
As part of my preparation, my sister Ariel came up and we went out for a pre-chemo dinner to celebrate the next step towards my treatment/recovery. It was nice having her there and meant a lot to have her there to support Adam and I as we embarked on this new journey. We got home, packed my chemo bag, and before I knew it, it was time to go to bed to get a full night's rest.
As my luck would have it, it snowed that night before chemo and even though it wasn't bad (not even snow on the roads), people still freak out driving just seeing snow on the grass so traffic was awful. My 9:30 appointment became 10:30. It worked out though and we were still one of the first patients there that morning as everyone was running late due to the traffic.
Upon arriving, I get to go back pretty much right away. The nurse took my temperature and blood pressure just to make sure everything was right and before I knew it, it was time to start. I got to have one of the more private bays. Unfortunately for us, the snow had messed up the television reception so no TV but we came prepared with my Kindle Fire & Netflix.
The nurse gave me some ice to help numb my port area before they accessed it. I couldn't use the numbing cream yet because there was still some surgical glue there but honestly, the ice did the same thing. They accessed the port, pretty painless and to my surprise, they couldn't get blood. My nurse, Kelly, said this happens sometimes so they flushed it and gave me some Heparin. Unfortunately that still didn't work. After a couple of tries, we were on our way downstairs to get a chest x-ray to make sure everything was okay with the port. Everything turned out fine and they gave me Cath-Flo to see if we could get it working again. After about 45 minutes it worked! Thank God! You know, we went into this with the mentality that hiccups are going to happen along the way but it was a shock to have it happen on the 1st try.
Soon after that, I was hooked up to some saline followed by steroids and anti-nausea medication. It must have been about 3:30 by the time we got that going. All of that went in great and then it was time to start the Adriamycin. Kelly came in with the chemo that she had to manually push. It wasn't just another bag they hung on the IV pole. I have to be honest, it was intimidating a little. The medication was the color of red Gatorade and watching it go from the syringe Kelly had to my port was like watching seconds of clock tick down. When it reached my port, I was anticipating some type of pain or feeling but surprise surprise: NOTHING. Kelly, Adam, Ariel, and I chatted for about 20 minutes and then it was all over. I felt great still.
Next it was time for the Cytoxin. Kelly did warn me that we would set it up on a 30 minute drip (as this was one she could hang from the IV pole) and that I may have some sinus pressure, runny nose, and/or a headache. Near the end, I did feel the sinus pressure and a runny nose but it wasn't that bad and it cleared 10 minutes or so after we were done.
By now it was about 5:00 or so and Kelly came and gave me another flush and dose of Heparin to flush my port and then we were all set. It was over. 1 down, 3 to go. Pretty painless! :)
We got home and for the rest of the night, I felt pretty good. When it was time for bed, I just felt a little tipsy but otherwise that was it. All in all...good news story!
More to come about the days following...
As part of my preparation, my sister Ariel came up and we went out for a pre-chemo dinner to celebrate the next step towards my treatment/recovery. It was nice having her there and meant a lot to have her there to support Adam and I as we embarked on this new journey. We got home, packed my chemo bag, and before I knew it, it was time to go to bed to get a full night's rest.
As my luck would have it, it snowed that night before chemo and even though it wasn't bad (not even snow on the roads), people still freak out driving just seeing snow on the grass so traffic was awful. My 9:30 appointment became 10:30. It worked out though and we were still one of the first patients there that morning as everyone was running late due to the traffic.
Upon arriving, I get to go back pretty much right away. The nurse took my temperature and blood pressure just to make sure everything was right and before I knew it, it was time to start. I got to have one of the more private bays. Unfortunately for us, the snow had messed up the television reception so no TV but we came prepared with my Kindle Fire & Netflix.
The nurse gave me some ice to help numb my port area before they accessed it. I couldn't use the numbing cream yet because there was still some surgical glue there but honestly, the ice did the same thing. They accessed the port, pretty painless and to my surprise, they couldn't get blood. My nurse, Kelly, said this happens sometimes so they flushed it and gave me some Heparin. Unfortunately that still didn't work. After a couple of tries, we were on our way downstairs to get a chest x-ray to make sure everything was okay with the port. Everything turned out fine and they gave me Cath-Flo to see if we could get it working again. After about 45 minutes it worked! Thank God! You know, we went into this with the mentality that hiccups are going to happen along the way but it was a shock to have it happen on the 1st try.
Soon after that, I was hooked up to some saline followed by steroids and anti-nausea medication. It must have been about 3:30 by the time we got that going. All of that went in great and then it was time to start the Adriamycin. Kelly came in with the chemo that she had to manually push. It wasn't just another bag they hung on the IV pole. I have to be honest, it was intimidating a little. The medication was the color of red Gatorade and watching it go from the syringe Kelly had to my port was like watching seconds of clock tick down. When it reached my port, I was anticipating some type of pain or feeling but surprise surprise: NOTHING. Kelly, Adam, Ariel, and I chatted for about 20 minutes and then it was all over. I felt great still.
Next it was time for the Cytoxin. Kelly did warn me that we would set it up on a 30 minute drip (as this was one she could hang from the IV pole) and that I may have some sinus pressure, runny nose, and/or a headache. Near the end, I did feel the sinus pressure and a runny nose but it wasn't that bad and it cleared 10 minutes or so after we were done.
By now it was about 5:00 or so and Kelly came and gave me another flush and dose of Heparin to flush my port and then we were all set. It was over. 1 down, 3 to go. Pretty painless! :)
We got home and for the rest of the night, I felt pretty good. When it was time for bed, I just felt a little tipsy but otherwise that was it. All in all...good news story!
More to come about the days following...
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Chemo School?
Ok...it wasn't really school but it was chemo training. I can't believe it required training. But I guess it's something that changes so often that what most people imagine chemo to be like isn't how it actually is.
On Tuesday, we went in for Chemo Training, blood work, and genetic testing (see, I'm starting to get smart and make them combine everything into 1 appointment so I can save my free time). I was actually really excited about this part. I had a list of questions for them and was still jotting them down while we were in the waiting room.
First, we had to sign consent forms for the genetic testing. I wanted to go ahead and get it done now since I knew they were already doing blood work (less needle sticks in the long run, each one counts!). From there, they took me back to the bays where patients were getting their chemo. I was shocked to see the smiles on these patients faces. I was so sure I would see people puking everywhere and miserable. Nope, some were sleeping, some were reading, some watching tv, and other just enjoying their free time to relax and sit in their chair. It was COMPLETELY different than I imagined.
They put me in one of the chairs and were going to draw the blood from my port! This was the first time I've seen how it all works. I will warn people, the needle for the port looks different and it looks long, BUT they don't stick it all the way in! You have to remember that there are some patients who have ports put in a lot deeper than just under the skin so this specially designed needle has to be long. And No, don't worry, they can't push the needle in too far. There is a metal bottom for the port so it only goes so far in until it has to stop.
Unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to use the lidocaine cream to help numb my port area before they inserted the needle because I still have the surgical glue over the incision site. They did give me some ice though to help numb it. They told me to take a deep breath and it was over before I knew it. Something I thought for sure was going to be super painful was actually far better than an IV or even some blood draws I've had in my arm. I barely felt it. They went ahead and flushed the port first and I got a weird taste in my mouth (normal). Then they did the blood draw and then finally flushed the port again. All in all, it was over in 5 minutes or so. Too Easy!
Once that was done, it was off to training. I let them give me the schedule of my treatment and go over what to expect. Then it was my turn. I think I caught the NP off guard with all of my questions. Not in a bad way but more in a good way in that I wanted to be as prepared as I could as to what to expect come Friday and the days following. She was soooooo nice and really helped alleviate all of my concerns.
In the end, we left ready more than ever for Friday's 1st chemo treatment!
On Tuesday, we went in for Chemo Training, blood work, and genetic testing (see, I'm starting to get smart and make them combine everything into 1 appointment so I can save my free time). I was actually really excited about this part. I had a list of questions for them and was still jotting them down while we were in the waiting room.
First, we had to sign consent forms for the genetic testing. I wanted to go ahead and get it done now since I knew they were already doing blood work (less needle sticks in the long run, each one counts!). From there, they took me back to the bays where patients were getting their chemo. I was shocked to see the smiles on these patients faces. I was so sure I would see people puking everywhere and miserable. Nope, some were sleeping, some were reading, some watching tv, and other just enjoying their free time to relax and sit in their chair. It was COMPLETELY different than I imagined.
They put me in one of the chairs and were going to draw the blood from my port! This was the first time I've seen how it all works. I will warn people, the needle for the port looks different and it looks long, BUT they don't stick it all the way in! You have to remember that there are some patients who have ports put in a lot deeper than just under the skin so this specially designed needle has to be long. And No, don't worry, they can't push the needle in too far. There is a metal bottom for the port so it only goes so far in until it has to stop.
Unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to use the lidocaine cream to help numb my port area before they inserted the needle because I still have the surgical glue over the incision site. They did give me some ice though to help numb it. They told me to take a deep breath and it was over before I knew it. Something I thought for sure was going to be super painful was actually far better than an IV or even some blood draws I've had in my arm. I barely felt it. They went ahead and flushed the port first and I got a weird taste in my mouth (normal). Then they did the blood draw and then finally flushed the port again. All in all, it was over in 5 minutes or so. Too Easy!
Once that was done, it was off to training. I let them give me the schedule of my treatment and go over what to expect. Then it was my turn. I think I caught the NP off guard with all of my questions. Not in a bad way but more in a good way in that I wanted to be as prepared as I could as to what to expect come Friday and the days following. She was soooooo nice and really helped alleviate all of my concerns.
In the end, we left ready more than ever for Friday's 1st chemo treatment!
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