Ok...no excuses here other than laziness. It has been a REALLY long time since my last post. It's not to say I haven't thought about posting, I'm just always too lazy/tired to do it. So...to catch everyone up, I'll be brief but also sure to make sure I don't leave anything out.
AC Chemo treatments #3 and #4 were pretty uneventful in terms of side effects. I would say the fatigue was definitely there but it also in many ways felt my body was "getting used to" feeling crappy so it was almost a feeling of "normal". We did experience a hiccup though in my treatment unfortunately. Although, in the list of hiccups, this wasn't as bad as it could have been. I had to get my PowerPort replaced.
Not long after AC #2 infusion, I woke up one morning with some minor bleeding from my neck. It looked like my stitches had come loose. After trying everything I could to help it close back up I had to let my nurse Kelly know I was getting concerned. Thankfully I work around a bunch of nurses who were keeping an eye on me during that time (I think it was a little short of 2 weeks) and monitoring my wound but it started to turn red and felt a little sore. I went back to Interventional Radiology and they put me on antibiotics (Keflex) and put surgical glue back on the wound to help it close. This was all precautionary to help make sure the wound didn't become infected. Unfortunately that didn't work and I found myself back in Interventional Radiology a few days later. This time though, the catheter had become exposed and I knew it was a greater risk for infection. I was a mess. I knew there would be set backs but I also secretly hoped I would be the exception to this. At Interventional Radiology, they decided this time since the glue didn't work, they would do the traditional suture and sew me back up.
I've never had stitches before. Never had a broken bone or anything so I was pretty nervous as ridiculous as that may sound. I was fortunate though to have a colleague of mine accompany me. I get gowned up and the PA comes in with his suture kit. I ask him if he's going to numb the area and he said he WASN'T!!! WHAT! Ok, I became even more nervous. His logic made complete sense in that the skin near my neck isn't that thick and would mean 2 additional needle sticks. So, I braced myself and honestly, yes it hurt, but the worst of it was the feeling of the tugging at my neck to make the stitch tight. I wanted to puke. I reminded me of all the times I've hemmed a pair of pants. Basically, the PA was sewing me back together. But it was over before I knew it and I was back at work.
So, you'd think I'd be done right....wrong. I kept my stitch covered with a bandage. This began the onset of my second complication. Apparently I'm allergic to bandaids...but only on certain areas of my skin. I've NEVER been allergic to bandaids. So, keeping my stitch covered was a toss up - run the possible risk of infection or keep it covered and deal with the rash. I chose to deal with the rash. After a couple days of having very raw skin, we noticed the stitch didn't work. The catheter became exposed again. I called Kelly and the PA from Interventional Radiology, everyone agreed it was time replace the port because it was an infection risk. I was so mad and frustrated. I felt like I didn't do everything I could have/should have to make sure everything went smoothly. Needless to say, I was nervous but was scheduled to have the port replaced 3 days later.
The port replacement was scheduled for Thursday, March 14, 2013. I made sure I talked to the team doing the procedure to make sure I knew what we were going to do different so I didn't run into the same problem again 2 months from now. I'm happy to report everything went perfectly smooth. They put a smaller port in called a SlimPort. In some ways, it went too smooth. Apparently I started divulging childhood secrets I've never told anyone (not even my parents). Everyone had a good laugh though.
AC Chemo #4 was the day after the port procedure and it went really well. No problems with accessing the port and we were able to finally check off that part of my treatment. I did feel a little more achy that time but I think it was due to the fact that I had the port put in. After that, it was time for me to shift gears and focus on Taxol. I enjoyed my 2 weeks off and mentally prepared for Taxol.
I started Taxol & Herceptin on 03/29. I will go weekly for 12 weeks. My oncologist said Taxol is supposed to be easier and he was right! I woke up the morning of chemo, cleaned the bathroom, and then hung a few pieces of drywall with my dad who was visiting to help us finish our basement. The chemo treatment turned into an all day thing just because they administered it slowly to make sure I didn't have an allergic reaction. Thankfully, no reaction. We went home, and I felt energized later that night (must have been the steroids). The next morning, I felt surprisingly normal. I even hung more drywall with my dad. Sunday I felt a little achy but nothing too bad and honestly, I don't know if it was the chemo or from being sore from the drywall work. Then that brings us to today...I'm still a little achy and I feel a little feverish. It's the same feeling I would get with AC where i would feel like I'm burning up for a couple hours (but with no fever) and then it would pass.
Overall, I think I can hang in there for another 11 weeks. We're still on track as originally planned, and Spring has finally decided to join us. Maybe next weekend I'll work on a garden or something outdoors. Who knows. Life is starting to feel back to normal though. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it'll stay that way.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Mr. Clean's twin sister & AC #2
It's been a while since my last post. Rest assured...everything is fine. In fact, almost too fine. I've been so caught up with being normal I put off posting. Going back to where I left off. It was getting close to Valentine's day and still no hair loss. I thought it was pretty bold for my Breast Care team to be able to tell me the actual day I would see my hair loss. I was convinced they were wrong because on the morning of February 13th, I still had no hair loss. Actually, I take that back, I didn't have to shave my legs. But I still had all my hair on my head and I even tried to pull and no luck in removing hair.
I went to work and by afternoon realized I was the one who was too confident. Why on earth did I actually even try to think I was "different" and my medical team predicted my hair loss wrong? I was in a meeting and casually ran my hand through my hair...OH MY GOODNESS! I was able to pull probably 15 or so hairs out. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was shocked. I let myself cry my two tears and then I couldn't wait to show my friends that it was happening.
By Friday (02/15), the hair loss was in full swing and it was chemo day. I was determined though to wait until the weekend to shave my head. Thank goodness I had thick hair so it really just looked thinned down. I'm happy to announce that chemo #2 was even more normal than the 1st time around. Adam and I showed up at 8:45. I brought a lighter load of things to keep me occupied this time. They brought me back, took my temperature and vitals and then it was time to go back to chemo. We had our choice of seats again and picked a nice secluded section in the back corner.
I was a little nervous, hoping that my port didn't act up this time around. I got my mask on and Kelly (my nurse) put her's on while she accessed my port. To my relief, the port worked perfectly! She got me all set up to where I was ready to receive chemo and then we were off to an exam room to meet with my oncologist for a check-up. Everything looked good and blood work came back good so I was cleared for chemo #2. Before I knew it, I was on my laptop trying to catch up on some email from work and Adam watched some tv.
We had our dear friend, Andre, visit again. He is so nice to take time out of his day and come sit with us during the treatment and keep us entertained. One of these days we will convince him to come to lunch with us. It's always nice to have company to keep us distracted from the reality of why we are there.
After chemo, Adam and I went to lunch at Chili's. BAD IDEA! If there is one piece of advice I can give about how I handle chemo it's that unhealthy food and chemo do not mix. While it tasted okay at the time, I paid for it later that night with the nausea. I didn't throw up but I was not having a good time. All in all, the rest of the weekend was mild. Even the muscle pain from the Neulasta wasn't even comparable to what it was the first time around. The nausea overall was worse but I wonder if that's in part my fault.
On Saturday morning, I knew it was time to shave my head. I was tired of being covered in hair. I called my neighbor Julie and she came over to help take pictures and videotape the event. Adam got his cutters and we went to town buzzing my head. I didn't want to shave it all the way down knowing I was immunosuppresed and didn't want to possibly cut myself and risking infection so we held off on that. But obviously we had to have some fun so first we did a mo hawk and then colored it pink and blue. Then it was time to go bald. All in all, it was somewhat liberating to shave my head. The way I look at it is I still got to have some control on when I went bald. Also, a good friend of mine who went through the head shave experience told me to look at it as a sign of the chemo doing exactly what it was supposed to. Since then, I've shaved it down to where my skin is baby soft. It's a weird in the fact that it's my head yet nice kinda soft. Now all I need is a white t-shirt, some rubber cleaning gloves and a spray bottle and I'll be Mr. Clean's sister. :)
If there's anything I have learned, it is to always look for the positive. Yeah the nausea was worse this time, so much so that I'm now taking another medication for acid reflux, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm just thankful it's not worse where I'm visiting the porcelain god every 5 minutes or contracting some type of infection.
Alright folks, that's 2 AC chemo treatments down....2 more to go. Next one is Friday!
I went to work and by afternoon realized I was the one who was too confident. Why on earth did I actually even try to think I was "different" and my medical team predicted my hair loss wrong? I was in a meeting and casually ran my hand through my hair...OH MY GOODNESS! I was able to pull probably 15 or so hairs out. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was shocked. I let myself cry my two tears and then I couldn't wait to show my friends that it was happening.
By Friday (02/15), the hair loss was in full swing and it was chemo day. I was determined though to wait until the weekend to shave my head. Thank goodness I had thick hair so it really just looked thinned down. I'm happy to announce that chemo #2 was even more normal than the 1st time around. Adam and I showed up at 8:45. I brought a lighter load of things to keep me occupied this time. They brought me back, took my temperature and vitals and then it was time to go back to chemo. We had our choice of seats again and picked a nice secluded section in the back corner.
I was a little nervous, hoping that my port didn't act up this time around. I got my mask on and Kelly (my nurse) put her's on while she accessed my port. To my relief, the port worked perfectly! She got me all set up to where I was ready to receive chemo and then we were off to an exam room to meet with my oncologist for a check-up. Everything looked good and blood work came back good so I was cleared for chemo #2. Before I knew it, I was on my laptop trying to catch up on some email from work and Adam watched some tv.
We had our dear friend, Andre, visit again. He is so nice to take time out of his day and come sit with us during the treatment and keep us entertained. One of these days we will convince him to come to lunch with us. It's always nice to have company to keep us distracted from the reality of why we are there.
After chemo, Adam and I went to lunch at Chili's. BAD IDEA! If there is one piece of advice I can give about how I handle chemo it's that unhealthy food and chemo do not mix. While it tasted okay at the time, I paid for it later that night with the nausea. I didn't throw up but I was not having a good time. All in all, the rest of the weekend was mild. Even the muscle pain from the Neulasta wasn't even comparable to what it was the first time around. The nausea overall was worse but I wonder if that's in part my fault.
On Saturday morning, I knew it was time to shave my head. I was tired of being covered in hair. I called my neighbor Julie and she came over to help take pictures and videotape the event. Adam got his cutters and we went to town buzzing my head. I didn't want to shave it all the way down knowing I was immunosuppresed and didn't want to possibly cut myself and risking infection so we held off on that. But obviously we had to have some fun so first we did a mo hawk and then colored it pink and blue. Then it was time to go bald. All in all, it was somewhat liberating to shave my head. The way I look at it is I still got to have some control on when I went bald. Also, a good friend of mine who went through the head shave experience told me to look at it as a sign of the chemo doing exactly what it was supposed to. Since then, I've shaved it down to where my skin is baby soft. It's a weird in the fact that it's my head yet nice kinda soft. Now all I need is a white t-shirt, some rubber cleaning gloves and a spray bottle and I'll be Mr. Clean's sister. :)
If there's anything I have learned, it is to always look for the positive. Yeah the nausea was worse this time, so much so that I'm now taking another medication for acid reflux, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm just thankful it's not worse where I'm visiting the porcelain god every 5 minutes or contracting some type of infection.
Alright folks, that's 2 AC chemo treatments down....2 more to go. Next one is Friday!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
L-A-Z-Y Movie kinda weekend
Ok, so I think I left off with Friday night and that I felt fine aside from feeling a little tipsy. I still went to bed early (for a Friday night) figuring I should get as much rest as I can.
The next morning, I got up, took a shower, and knew it was time to cut my hair. This was a bittersweet moment for me. I've been letting my hair grow for about 2 years in preparation for our wedding this past November. But...it was time. I put my hair in a ponytail, got my best craft scissors, and made sure the video camera was ready to go. Adam cut my hair for me and Ariel recorded the whole thing. It is so weird how light my head felt after all that. In all, we cut off 15 inches of hair! And my hair still goes to my shoulders and I can still put it in a ponytail.
Ariel had to leave pretty soon after and Adam was ecstatic for our l-a-z-y weekend ahead. We spent the rest of the day pretty much on the couch, just making sure to take it easy. It was the perfect movie weekend. I felt pretty good that day. Just a small headache that motrin took care of and some mild indigestion. Otherwise....that was it. If there was one thing I have learned in preparation of chemo, it was how important it is to stay hydrated. I drank more water/juice that weekend than I ever have and I'd like to think that it helped. I also read that the chemo actually does it's job in 4-8 hours after getting it. From there it's critical you flush your system to get the toxin out of your body, hence the importance of staying hydrated.
Later that night, Adam gave me the Neulasta shot, pretty painless. Again, I went to bed fairly early knowing that for most people, day 3-4 is the worst of the chemo so I didn't know what to expect for Sunday. I woke up Sunday and I knew it was kicking in. I was achy in my muscles. It was weird though because it was only from the top of my neck down to the last rib and everything in between. I took some motrin and that seemed to help a little, but not really. I stayed on the couch all day and it seemed ridiculous with all the medication I was taking. Once the motrin wore off we decided to try the oxycodone but that too didn't seem to help. So I just laid on the couch the rest of the day trying not to move too much. Thankfully, the medication was good and helped me sleep.
Monday came and still the muscle pain. In some ways it was the same in that the pain was still there but in other ways it was better in that it was no longer concentrated in my upper body but had spread all throughout my body, just not as intense. I emailed my nurse, Kelly, to see if there was some other pain medication they could recommend for the side effects and come to find out I wasn't taking enough pain medicine. I took the right dose this time and boy did that make all the difference. I was able to take it easy the rest of the day feeling tired but otherwise okay.
I figured it would be best to plan to stay home Tuesday in case the body pain was still there. I woke up Tuesday morning with the pain gone. I felt great actually. Adam was with me and we figured we would just extend the lazy weekend 1 more day. I got up to work from home and even cleaned the kitchen. But after that....whoa....I felt the fatigue. It was weird....something that I normally could do with little effort took soooo much out of me. This is what they meant by the fatigue. So, I took it easy that day by just slowing down...taking longer than I normally would to do everyday things.
I decided it was time to go back to work the next day. I was able to work the rest of the week but I definitely felt the fatigue. I would have to take breaks but so long as I moved slow, I was okay. Each day I felt stronger and stronger and by Friday, I felt pretty much back to 100%.
Sadly, it's only 5 more days until the next round. I've got mixed emotions about it. I'm excited because come Friday night, this means I'll be half-way done with the "bad chemo". But, at the same time, I know what's coming. While it wasn't too bad and I'm extremely thankful for that, it definitely wasn't fun. So...I guess I'll just enjoy the good days I have coming knowing that next weekend will be another l-a-z-y movie weekend.
The next morning, I got up, took a shower, and knew it was time to cut my hair. This was a bittersweet moment for me. I've been letting my hair grow for about 2 years in preparation for our wedding this past November. But...it was time. I put my hair in a ponytail, got my best craft scissors, and made sure the video camera was ready to go. Adam cut my hair for me and Ariel recorded the whole thing. It is so weird how light my head felt after all that. In all, we cut off 15 inches of hair! And my hair still goes to my shoulders and I can still put it in a ponytail.
Ariel had to leave pretty soon after and Adam was ecstatic for our l-a-z-y weekend ahead. We spent the rest of the day pretty much on the couch, just making sure to take it easy. It was the perfect movie weekend. I felt pretty good that day. Just a small headache that motrin took care of and some mild indigestion. Otherwise....that was it. If there was one thing I have learned in preparation of chemo, it was how important it is to stay hydrated. I drank more water/juice that weekend than I ever have and I'd like to think that it helped. I also read that the chemo actually does it's job in 4-8 hours after getting it. From there it's critical you flush your system to get the toxin out of your body, hence the importance of staying hydrated.
Later that night, Adam gave me the Neulasta shot, pretty painless. Again, I went to bed fairly early knowing that for most people, day 3-4 is the worst of the chemo so I didn't know what to expect for Sunday. I woke up Sunday and I knew it was kicking in. I was achy in my muscles. It was weird though because it was only from the top of my neck down to the last rib and everything in between. I took some motrin and that seemed to help a little, but not really. I stayed on the couch all day and it seemed ridiculous with all the medication I was taking. Once the motrin wore off we decided to try the oxycodone but that too didn't seem to help. So I just laid on the couch the rest of the day trying not to move too much. Thankfully, the medication was good and helped me sleep.
Monday came and still the muscle pain. In some ways it was the same in that the pain was still there but in other ways it was better in that it was no longer concentrated in my upper body but had spread all throughout my body, just not as intense. I emailed my nurse, Kelly, to see if there was some other pain medication they could recommend for the side effects and come to find out I wasn't taking enough pain medicine. I took the right dose this time and boy did that make all the difference. I was able to take it easy the rest of the day feeling tired but otherwise okay.
I figured it would be best to plan to stay home Tuesday in case the body pain was still there. I woke up Tuesday morning with the pain gone. I felt great actually. Adam was with me and we figured we would just extend the lazy weekend 1 more day. I got up to work from home and even cleaned the kitchen. But after that....whoa....I felt the fatigue. It was weird....something that I normally could do with little effort took soooo much out of me. This is what they meant by the fatigue. So, I took it easy that day by just slowing down...taking longer than I normally would to do everyday things.
I decided it was time to go back to work the next day. I was able to work the rest of the week but I definitely felt the fatigue. I would have to take breaks but so long as I moved slow, I was okay. Each day I felt stronger and stronger and by Friday, I felt pretty much back to 100%.
Sadly, it's only 5 more days until the next round. I've got mixed emotions about it. I'm excited because come Friday night, this means I'll be half-way done with the "bad chemo". But, at the same time, I know what's coming. While it wasn't too bad and I'm extremely thankful for that, it definitely wasn't fun. So...I guess I'll just enjoy the good days I have coming knowing that next weekend will be another l-a-z-y movie weekend.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
AC Chemo #1
Ok...AC Chemo #1 came and went. I'm happy to report that 1 week later I feel back to 100% my usual self! But...it was definitely not a walk in the park. Here's my experience of the 1st time.
As part of my preparation, my sister Ariel came up and we went out for a pre-chemo dinner to celebrate the next step towards my treatment/recovery. It was nice having her there and meant a lot to have her there to support Adam and I as we embarked on this new journey. We got home, packed my chemo bag, and before I knew it, it was time to go to bed to get a full night's rest.
As my luck would have it, it snowed that night before chemo and even though it wasn't bad (not even snow on the roads), people still freak out driving just seeing snow on the grass so traffic was awful. My 9:30 appointment became 10:30. It worked out though and we were still one of the first patients there that morning as everyone was running late due to the traffic.
Upon arriving, I get to go back pretty much right away. The nurse took my temperature and blood pressure just to make sure everything was right and before I knew it, it was time to start. I got to have one of the more private bays. Unfortunately for us, the snow had messed up the television reception so no TV but we came prepared with my Kindle Fire & Netflix.
The nurse gave me some ice to help numb my port area before they accessed it. I couldn't use the numbing cream yet because there was still some surgical glue there but honestly, the ice did the same thing. They accessed the port, pretty painless and to my surprise, they couldn't get blood. My nurse, Kelly, said this happens sometimes so they flushed it and gave me some Heparin. Unfortunately that still didn't work. After a couple of tries, we were on our way downstairs to get a chest x-ray to make sure everything was okay with the port. Everything turned out fine and they gave me Cath-Flo to see if we could get it working again. After about 45 minutes it worked! Thank God! You know, we went into this with the mentality that hiccups are going to happen along the way but it was a shock to have it happen on the 1st try.
Soon after that, I was hooked up to some saline followed by steroids and anti-nausea medication. It must have been about 3:30 by the time we got that going. All of that went in great and then it was time to start the Adriamycin. Kelly came in with the chemo that she had to manually push. It wasn't just another bag they hung on the IV pole. I have to be honest, it was intimidating a little. The medication was the color of red Gatorade and watching it go from the syringe Kelly had to my port was like watching seconds of clock tick down. When it reached my port, I was anticipating some type of pain or feeling but surprise surprise: NOTHING. Kelly, Adam, Ariel, and I chatted for about 20 minutes and then it was all over. I felt great still.
Next it was time for the Cytoxin. Kelly did warn me that we would set it up on a 30 minute drip (as this was one she could hang from the IV pole) and that I may have some sinus pressure, runny nose, and/or a headache. Near the end, I did feel the sinus pressure and a runny nose but it wasn't that bad and it cleared 10 minutes or so after we were done.
By now it was about 5:00 or so and Kelly came and gave me another flush and dose of Heparin to flush my port and then we were all set. It was over. 1 down, 3 to go. Pretty painless! :)
We got home and for the rest of the night, I felt pretty good. When it was time for bed, I just felt a little tipsy but otherwise that was it. All in all...good news story!
More to come about the days following...
As part of my preparation, my sister Ariel came up and we went out for a pre-chemo dinner to celebrate the next step towards my treatment/recovery. It was nice having her there and meant a lot to have her there to support Adam and I as we embarked on this new journey. We got home, packed my chemo bag, and before I knew it, it was time to go to bed to get a full night's rest.
As my luck would have it, it snowed that night before chemo and even though it wasn't bad (not even snow on the roads), people still freak out driving just seeing snow on the grass so traffic was awful. My 9:30 appointment became 10:30. It worked out though and we were still one of the first patients there that morning as everyone was running late due to the traffic.
Upon arriving, I get to go back pretty much right away. The nurse took my temperature and blood pressure just to make sure everything was right and before I knew it, it was time to start. I got to have one of the more private bays. Unfortunately for us, the snow had messed up the television reception so no TV but we came prepared with my Kindle Fire & Netflix.
The nurse gave me some ice to help numb my port area before they accessed it. I couldn't use the numbing cream yet because there was still some surgical glue there but honestly, the ice did the same thing. They accessed the port, pretty painless and to my surprise, they couldn't get blood. My nurse, Kelly, said this happens sometimes so they flushed it and gave me some Heparin. Unfortunately that still didn't work. After a couple of tries, we were on our way downstairs to get a chest x-ray to make sure everything was okay with the port. Everything turned out fine and they gave me Cath-Flo to see if we could get it working again. After about 45 minutes it worked! Thank God! You know, we went into this with the mentality that hiccups are going to happen along the way but it was a shock to have it happen on the 1st try.
Soon after that, I was hooked up to some saline followed by steroids and anti-nausea medication. It must have been about 3:30 by the time we got that going. All of that went in great and then it was time to start the Adriamycin. Kelly came in with the chemo that she had to manually push. It wasn't just another bag they hung on the IV pole. I have to be honest, it was intimidating a little. The medication was the color of red Gatorade and watching it go from the syringe Kelly had to my port was like watching seconds of clock tick down. When it reached my port, I was anticipating some type of pain or feeling but surprise surprise: NOTHING. Kelly, Adam, Ariel, and I chatted for about 20 minutes and then it was all over. I felt great still.
Next it was time for the Cytoxin. Kelly did warn me that we would set it up on a 30 minute drip (as this was one she could hang from the IV pole) and that I may have some sinus pressure, runny nose, and/or a headache. Near the end, I did feel the sinus pressure and a runny nose but it wasn't that bad and it cleared 10 minutes or so after we were done.
By now it was about 5:00 or so and Kelly came and gave me another flush and dose of Heparin to flush my port and then we were all set. It was over. 1 down, 3 to go. Pretty painless! :)
We got home and for the rest of the night, I felt pretty good. When it was time for bed, I just felt a little tipsy but otherwise that was it. All in all...good news story!
More to come about the days following...
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Chemo School?
Ok...it wasn't really school but it was chemo training. I can't believe it required training. But I guess it's something that changes so often that what most people imagine chemo to be like isn't how it actually is.
On Tuesday, we went in for Chemo Training, blood work, and genetic testing (see, I'm starting to get smart and make them combine everything into 1 appointment so I can save my free time). I was actually really excited about this part. I had a list of questions for them and was still jotting them down while we were in the waiting room.
First, we had to sign consent forms for the genetic testing. I wanted to go ahead and get it done now since I knew they were already doing blood work (less needle sticks in the long run, each one counts!). From there, they took me back to the bays where patients were getting their chemo. I was shocked to see the smiles on these patients faces. I was so sure I would see people puking everywhere and miserable. Nope, some were sleeping, some were reading, some watching tv, and other just enjoying their free time to relax and sit in their chair. It was COMPLETELY different than I imagined.
They put me in one of the chairs and were going to draw the blood from my port! This was the first time I've seen how it all works. I will warn people, the needle for the port looks different and it looks long, BUT they don't stick it all the way in! You have to remember that there are some patients who have ports put in a lot deeper than just under the skin so this specially designed needle has to be long. And No, don't worry, they can't push the needle in too far. There is a metal bottom for the port so it only goes so far in until it has to stop.
Unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to use the lidocaine cream to help numb my port area before they inserted the needle because I still have the surgical glue over the incision site. They did give me some ice though to help numb it. They told me to take a deep breath and it was over before I knew it. Something I thought for sure was going to be super painful was actually far better than an IV or even some blood draws I've had in my arm. I barely felt it. They went ahead and flushed the port first and I got a weird taste in my mouth (normal). Then they did the blood draw and then finally flushed the port again. All in all, it was over in 5 minutes or so. Too Easy!
Once that was done, it was off to training. I let them give me the schedule of my treatment and go over what to expect. Then it was my turn. I think I caught the NP off guard with all of my questions. Not in a bad way but more in a good way in that I wanted to be as prepared as I could as to what to expect come Friday and the days following. She was soooooo nice and really helped alleviate all of my concerns.
In the end, we left ready more than ever for Friday's 1st chemo treatment!
On Tuesday, we went in for Chemo Training, blood work, and genetic testing (see, I'm starting to get smart and make them combine everything into 1 appointment so I can save my free time). I was actually really excited about this part. I had a list of questions for them and was still jotting them down while we were in the waiting room.
First, we had to sign consent forms for the genetic testing. I wanted to go ahead and get it done now since I knew they were already doing blood work (less needle sticks in the long run, each one counts!). From there, they took me back to the bays where patients were getting their chemo. I was shocked to see the smiles on these patients faces. I was so sure I would see people puking everywhere and miserable. Nope, some were sleeping, some were reading, some watching tv, and other just enjoying their free time to relax and sit in their chair. It was COMPLETELY different than I imagined.
They put me in one of the chairs and were going to draw the blood from my port! This was the first time I've seen how it all works. I will warn people, the needle for the port looks different and it looks long, BUT they don't stick it all the way in! You have to remember that there are some patients who have ports put in a lot deeper than just under the skin so this specially designed needle has to be long. And No, don't worry, they can't push the needle in too far. There is a metal bottom for the port so it only goes so far in until it has to stop.
Unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to use the lidocaine cream to help numb my port area before they inserted the needle because I still have the surgical glue over the incision site. They did give me some ice though to help numb it. They told me to take a deep breath and it was over before I knew it. Something I thought for sure was going to be super painful was actually far better than an IV or even some blood draws I've had in my arm. I barely felt it. They went ahead and flushed the port first and I got a weird taste in my mouth (normal). Then they did the blood draw and then finally flushed the port again. All in all, it was over in 5 minutes or so. Too Easy!
Once that was done, it was off to training. I let them give me the schedule of my treatment and go over what to expect. Then it was my turn. I think I caught the NP off guard with all of my questions. Not in a bad way but more in a good way in that I wanted to be as prepared as I could as to what to expect come Friday and the days following. She was soooooo nice and really helped alleviate all of my concerns.
In the end, we left ready more than ever for Friday's 1st chemo treatment!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Time to get those eggs!
So...Sunday 01/27 was the big day! Well...big day in the long line of big days.
On Saturday, a few close friends of mine took me out for a girl's night before chemo. We kept it pretty low-key, watched movies, played games, and went out to a fancy Italian restaurant. But you know, it was just what I needed. I was able to feel somewhat normal again (aside from this dang pulled muscle in my back). I had a great time and I can't thank everyone who was there enough for doing that for me. So THANKS Danielle, Stephanie, Christina, Emily, Morgan, & Jennifer!
Sunday morning was surgery time. Overall, we were in and out in a matter of 2.5 hours I think. I had to be there by 7:30am. We waited about 30 minutes (if that) to get back to the prep area. I got to wear my fancy hospital gown and had an IV put in and they took my vital signs. Then before I knew it, the surgical team was there, ready to wheel me back to the OR. No rest for the weary, huh? The IV went much smoother this time and I enjoyed the company of the nurse, anesthesiologist, and my doctor. We had fun joking around as we were getting ready.
I went back and walked into the OR at 8:50am and according to Adam, I was wheeled out & done by 9:10am! What! I can't believe it was that fast. They actually did give me general anesthesia but it was on the light side. They didn't have to intubate me (stick the tube down my throat) but did give me a nasal cannula (oxygen cord for my nose).
When I woke up I felt my hands trembling and my throat was a little sore and my mouth was REALLY dry. All of this is normal though and expected with the anesthesia and oxygen. I was able to dress myself and then we walked out and were done. They told me to take Tylenol or some Oxycodone if I wanted but I just stuck to the Tylenol. I really didn't feel anything else.
It was later that night that I really started to feel the after-affects. I wouldn't necessarily describe it as pain. It was period cramps....sorry guys. I don't know how else to describe it. It makes it hard to stand up straight and walk. It was major bloating and I just felt like my stomach was F-U-L-L. Imagine going to Golden Corral and stuffing your face until your full and can't fit another bit....then do that 3 more times. That is how it feels. But, from what I'm told, this is normal. They said I have to remember that they removed all those eggs and so my body is going to retain water and swell. So I'm watching myself for OVHSS (Ovarian Hyper-stimulation syndrome). It's exceptionally rare to have this happen though. The main thing is to make sure you are able to go tinkle okay, you don't gain too much weight, and watch for nausea/vomiting. All of which are okay for me.
It sucks though. It's now Wednesday night and I'm still having the cramps. I can't complain too much though...they are getting better each day. I just want to be sure I'm functioning at 100% for Friday's first chemo. Between this and trying to mend this pulled muscle, I've just been lazing around the house at night and staying put at work.
Here's to hoping the cramping goes away even more tomorrow!
On Saturday, a few close friends of mine took me out for a girl's night before chemo. We kept it pretty low-key, watched movies, played games, and went out to a fancy Italian restaurant. But you know, it was just what I needed. I was able to feel somewhat normal again (aside from this dang pulled muscle in my back). I had a great time and I can't thank everyone who was there enough for doing that for me. So THANKS Danielle, Stephanie, Christina, Emily, Morgan, & Jennifer!
Sunday morning was surgery time. Overall, we were in and out in a matter of 2.5 hours I think. I had to be there by 7:30am. We waited about 30 minutes (if that) to get back to the prep area. I got to wear my fancy hospital gown and had an IV put in and they took my vital signs. Then before I knew it, the surgical team was there, ready to wheel me back to the OR. No rest for the weary, huh? The IV went much smoother this time and I enjoyed the company of the nurse, anesthesiologist, and my doctor. We had fun joking around as we were getting ready.
I went back and walked into the OR at 8:50am and according to Adam, I was wheeled out & done by 9:10am! What! I can't believe it was that fast. They actually did give me general anesthesia but it was on the light side. They didn't have to intubate me (stick the tube down my throat) but did give me a nasal cannula (oxygen cord for my nose).
When I woke up I felt my hands trembling and my throat was a little sore and my mouth was REALLY dry. All of this is normal though and expected with the anesthesia and oxygen. I was able to dress myself and then we walked out and were done. They told me to take Tylenol or some Oxycodone if I wanted but I just stuck to the Tylenol. I really didn't feel anything else.
It was later that night that I really started to feel the after-affects. I wouldn't necessarily describe it as pain. It was period cramps....sorry guys. I don't know how else to describe it. It makes it hard to stand up straight and walk. It was major bloating and I just felt like my stomach was F-U-L-L. Imagine going to Golden Corral and stuffing your face until your full and can't fit another bit....then do that 3 more times. That is how it feels. But, from what I'm told, this is normal. They said I have to remember that they removed all those eggs and so my body is going to retain water and swell. So I'm watching myself for OVHSS (Ovarian Hyper-stimulation syndrome). It's exceptionally rare to have this happen though. The main thing is to make sure you are able to go tinkle okay, you don't gain too much weight, and watch for nausea/vomiting. All of which are okay for me.
It sucks though. It's now Wednesday night and I'm still having the cramps. I can't complain too much though...they are getting better each day. I just want to be sure I'm functioning at 100% for Friday's first chemo. Between this and trying to mend this pulled muscle, I've just been lazing around the house at night and staying put at work.
Here's to hoping the cramping goes away even more tomorrow!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Bionic Woman
So...I know it's been a while since I've posted. Needless to say it's been a busy week and most of it's been spent recovering from everything I've had done.
To start, I had the port put in and all I have to say is G-R-E-A-T S-U-C-C-E-S-S!!! We did run into some hiccups along the way but I won't go in to detail about that as it was more to do with the staff we dealt with and not the overall process. I find that in the event someone else who may be reading this is looking for reassurance in their own journey, my purpose is not to scare you, but to show you that I was fine! :)
We checked in for the port at 12:30 with a 2:00 procedure time. I went back pretty much right away to get my hospital garb on and get an IV started. I have to admit, the IV hurt a bit but that was because they put it in my hand and is not the case with with all people. I guess I was just lucky :). Unfortunately for me, my 2:00 procedure time turned to 5:00. It was the day after a holiday weekend and there was an emergency that bumped me back, so all I can say in looking back at it is that at least it wasn't me with the emergency.
The total procedure time was about 30 minutes. They took me back to the procedure room and had me get on the OR table. They gave me twilight medication to make me out of it and I actually ended up falling asleep. What I remember though is that they cleaned the area (obviously) and they actually used an ultrasound or some type of imaging to help them put the port in. So don't be worried if it reminds you of lying on a table for an x-ray. When I woke up, I was just ready to go. Unfortunately at that point it was nearly 6pm-6:30 and I hadn't eaten anything since midnight. It made me lightheaded so we had to stick around a bit while I ate some graham crackers and drank some juice. But then we were free!!!
The next couple days I was sore but nothing that wasn't manageable. Per my oncologist, I just took some Tylenol as I needed it. Go figure, after a month of babying my right side from my lumpectomy, I went into full swing of babying the left and ended up pulling a muscle in my back on the right. So I ended up having a sore left-front side, and an aching back-right side. Not Fun!
A week later, I'm happy to say the surgical glue is starting to come off and while I'm anxious to get it off because it itches, I'm being as patient as I can to make sure it heals properly. Initially it felt weird to turn my neck but now I really can't feel it in me other than when I touch it or the catheter. It's definitely visible under my skin and makes me feel somewhat like a cyborg, but I'm somewhat proud that I have it. I know I'm doing everything I can to better help me get through the chemo.
I had Chemo prep today actually and they went ahead and did blood work. It was my first time accessing the port (at least while I was awake). All in all, it actually was surprisingly harmless. Let me tell you, it by far beats having a needle stick every day and seeing my arms getting bruised. All in all, I was really impressed with how well it went and how easy it was. They give me a cream to help numb it but because the surgical glue was still on, we couldn't use it. Instead, they just gave me an ice pack to help numb the area. They also flushed the port and gave me some Heparin to help prevent clotting. All in all, I'd day from the time they accessed the port to the time it was over, it was maybe 5 minutes? Not bad at all. I think I could get used to this (when you consider the alternative!)
Ok, I'll write back tomorrow to catch everyone up on everything else from this past week including chemo training and the IVF stuff.
To start, I had the port put in and all I have to say is G-R-E-A-T S-U-C-C-E-S-S!!! We did run into some hiccups along the way but I won't go in to detail about that as it was more to do with the staff we dealt with and not the overall process. I find that in the event someone else who may be reading this is looking for reassurance in their own journey, my purpose is not to scare you, but to show you that I was fine! :)
We checked in for the port at 12:30 with a 2:00 procedure time. I went back pretty much right away to get my hospital garb on and get an IV started. I have to admit, the IV hurt a bit but that was because they put it in my hand and is not the case with with all people. I guess I was just lucky :). Unfortunately for me, my 2:00 procedure time turned to 5:00. It was the day after a holiday weekend and there was an emergency that bumped me back, so all I can say in looking back at it is that at least it wasn't me with the emergency.
The total procedure time was about 30 minutes. They took me back to the procedure room and had me get on the OR table. They gave me twilight medication to make me out of it and I actually ended up falling asleep. What I remember though is that they cleaned the area (obviously) and they actually used an ultrasound or some type of imaging to help them put the port in. So don't be worried if it reminds you of lying on a table for an x-ray. When I woke up, I was just ready to go. Unfortunately at that point it was nearly 6pm-6:30 and I hadn't eaten anything since midnight. It made me lightheaded so we had to stick around a bit while I ate some graham crackers and drank some juice. But then we were free!!!
The next couple days I was sore but nothing that wasn't manageable. Per my oncologist, I just took some Tylenol as I needed it. Go figure, after a month of babying my right side from my lumpectomy, I went into full swing of babying the left and ended up pulling a muscle in my back on the right. So I ended up having a sore left-front side, and an aching back-right side. Not Fun!
A week later, I'm happy to say the surgical glue is starting to come off and while I'm anxious to get it off because it itches, I'm being as patient as I can to make sure it heals properly. Initially it felt weird to turn my neck but now I really can't feel it in me other than when I touch it or the catheter. It's definitely visible under my skin and makes me feel somewhat like a cyborg, but I'm somewhat proud that I have it. I know I'm doing everything I can to better help me get through the chemo.
I had Chemo prep today actually and they went ahead and did blood work. It was my first time accessing the port (at least while I was awake). All in all, it actually was surprisingly harmless. Let me tell you, it by far beats having a needle stick every day and seeing my arms getting bruised. All in all, I was really impressed with how well it went and how easy it was. They give me a cream to help numb it but because the surgical glue was still on, we couldn't use it. Instead, they just gave me an ice pack to help numb the area. They also flushed the port and gave me some Heparin to help prevent clotting. All in all, I'd day from the time they accessed the port to the time it was over, it was maybe 5 minutes? Not bad at all. I think I could get used to this (when you consider the alternative!)
Ok, I'll write back tomorrow to catch everyone up on everything else from this past week including chemo training and the IVF stuff.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Port time...Hope I'm ready
So one thing that came highly recommended to me from a friend of mine who also went through this was to get a port put in. Basically, I would either have to get an IV and blood work done the day of chemo (2 needle sticks) or I could have a port implanted and only need 1 stick. This will help for many reasons both short term and long term. For starters, since I had 2 lymph nodes removed from my right side, I'm technically supposed to avoid needle sticks and blood pressure cuffs on that side. So we would be primarily be using my left every time (16 chemo treatments x 2 to include the blood work). In the short term, this would also save me time on the day of chemo so that I wouldn't have to go to a lab and wait in line with every other patient there to get blood work done and then have the results read. Rather, I could stay in my clinic and and they could draw the blood from the port.
In terms of long term benefits, chemo also messes up your arms if you don't have a port I'm told. It can cause extensive scar tissue and lead to complications the further you go along in terms of finding a vein to work. So I guess really it's no guarantee that it would only be two sticks if I didn't get the port. Finally, technically with me being HER2+ I will be receiving treatment for a little over a year to specifically target this aspect. Chemo though will only be 5 months. Herceptin (medication to treat HER2+ aspect) will begin at month 3 of chemo and will continue for 1 year. All in all, this port will become part of me for a little over 1 year.
The port I'm told is about the size of a quarter and there is a tube attached to go into my vein. It will be implanted just below my collar bone and will be completely under the skin but noticeable that I will have it. From everyone I've talked to who would be familiar with it or have knowledge in the area, it seems to be a pretty standard procedure to have put in and the best part is that for me, I just go take a nap and wake up with it already done.
So...tomorrow will be a busy day. First we're off to another doctor appointment and then it's port time. Wish me luck & say a prayer!
In terms of long term benefits, chemo also messes up your arms if you don't have a port I'm told. It can cause extensive scar tissue and lead to complications the further you go along in terms of finding a vein to work. So I guess really it's no guarantee that it would only be two sticks if I didn't get the port. Finally, technically with me being HER2+ I will be receiving treatment for a little over a year to specifically target this aspect. Chemo though will only be 5 months. Herceptin (medication to treat HER2+ aspect) will begin at month 3 of chemo and will continue for 1 year. All in all, this port will become part of me for a little over 1 year.
The port I'm told is about the size of a quarter and there is a tube attached to go into my vein. It will be implanted just below my collar bone and will be completely under the skin but noticeable that I will have it. From everyone I've talked to who would be familiar with it or have knowledge in the area, it seems to be a pretty standard procedure to have put in and the best part is that for me, I just go take a nap and wake up with it already done.
So...tomorrow will be a busy day. First we're off to another doctor appointment and then it's port time. Wish me luck & say a prayer!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Appointments...Appointments...Appointments
Ok, I officially no longer enjoy going to the doctor's office. I can't actually say I ever did but man, now I really don't like it. I used to take pride when they would tell me I'm healthy, or blood pressure is really good, or even at the dentist when they would say "no cavities this time". Not anymore though....now I'm starting to dread it.
In the past 2 days, I've had 5 appointments. Yesterday morning was a genetics consult, then a visit over to the fertility doctor, and then finally it was an appointment to try on wigs. At least with the last one Adam and I had fun getting to see me with all sorts of hair styles and colors. Today it was a dentist appointment and then an echo test to get a baseline for my heart before chemo. Tomorrow is a free day and then Friday I have a consult with Radiation Oncology.
I've given up on trying to schedule appointments. I find that if I wait, they just get scheduled for me. And it's not, "Ok, what time works best for you?". It's always, "ok, you've been scheduled for 3 appointments at these dates/times...be sure to arrive 30 minutes early and see you then". I think I can officially say that when this is all said and done, I will have had more appointments than I have ever had in my life.
Probably not a good start to be complaining about the appointments but seriously, it's getting old. Hopefully when the chemo starts, appointments will settle down and I can get back to a "new normal".
Next week isn't looking to clear in my schedule either but more to follow on that. Time for an injection. ugh...it never ends.
Oh...and I still haven't cut my hair. Turns out the hubby wanted to cut the ponytail so now I'm on his time for when he wants to do it. :) But, I wouldn't have it any other way.
In the past 2 days, I've had 5 appointments. Yesterday morning was a genetics consult, then a visit over to the fertility doctor, and then finally it was an appointment to try on wigs. At least with the last one Adam and I had fun getting to see me with all sorts of hair styles and colors. Today it was a dentist appointment and then an echo test to get a baseline for my heart before chemo. Tomorrow is a free day and then Friday I have a consult with Radiation Oncology.
I've given up on trying to schedule appointments. I find that if I wait, they just get scheduled for me. And it's not, "Ok, what time works best for you?". It's always, "ok, you've been scheduled for 3 appointments at these dates/times...be sure to arrive 30 minutes early and see you then". I think I can officially say that when this is all said and done, I will have had more appointments than I have ever had in my life.
Probably not a good start to be complaining about the appointments but seriously, it's getting old. Hopefully when the chemo starts, appointments will settle down and I can get back to a "new normal".
Next week isn't looking to clear in my schedule either but more to follow on that. Time for an injection. ugh...it never ends.
Oh...and I still haven't cut my hair. Turns out the hubby wanted to cut the ponytail so now I'm on his time for when he wants to do it. :) But, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
The Deets
Okay...one more post for the night. As promised, I want to catch everyone up on the specifics of my cancer.
I never found a lump. I actually had some dimpling and my skin looked a little funny but that was it. So I went to the doctor in early December but was told I was fine and to put my mind at ease, I could come back in January to see my original doctor (who was away at a conference at the time). Well, a week passed and there wasn't any changes so I called and got back in to see the doctor. This time, I saw my doctor and she also didn't feel a lump but agreed it was a little suspicious. So I ended up having an ultrasound, mammogram and biopsy done on 12/14.
On 12/17 I got a phone call stating that it was Stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma. Invasive ductal carcinoma is the most common type of breast cancer that women get. I can't even begin to try to explain the feeling I had as the doctor was telling me. I could tell he hated this part of his job and he felt really bad having to deliver this news to me. In my head, it was like tunnel vision as I was trying to come to terms with what I was being told but I couldn't deal. I was at work and just broke. My boss actually saw me on the phone and she knew right away. I ended up having to call the doctor back once I was calm because I felt like I had to know everything he did. He told me it was Stage 1 grade 2 (meaning average growth).
The next day I had an appointment with a surgeon and my breast care team. They presented me the facts and Adam was right there with me to take it all in (in case I forgot any of the details). I got to speak with some nurse navigators who were also breast cancer survivors too which I found incredibly encouraging knowing that they made it through all this and knew what I was going through. We also had a breast MRI done that day.
In looking back at that 1st week, the worst part was the waiting. Waiting to find out more information...waiting to see if this was going to kill me....waiting to see if there was more cancer...I was a mess. I didn't want to eat and it took everything I had to keep it together as best as I could. Thankfully Adam has been by my side the whole time. I was also fortunate to have my family supporting me through all of this (yes, that include you in-laws too!). We got the final MRI results back and learned there wasn't any more cancer showing up on the MRI! Yay!
It was around this time that we also learned that the cancer was ER+ and PR+. This has to do with my hormones making the cancer grow and overall is a good factor because there are medications available now to help treat this. I also learned that the cancer was HER2+. This on the other hand is good/bad. It's another indicator on how the cancer grows based on duplicate copies of protein being made. As my surgeon put it, it's bad because it's an indicator for the cancer being more aggressive, but it's good because they also have medication now to help treat this as well. All in all, the way I see it is that we caught it early enough before it had the chance to become really bad. Again, soooo thankful that we caught it when we did.
From there it was a matter of making the decision between a lumpectomy and a mastectomy. With the lumpectomy, they just remove the tumor site and some surrounding healthy tissue whereas a mastectomy they remove almost all of the breast tissue. I was able to get the lumpectomy sooner than the mastectomy because the mastectomy would include reconstruction and we'd then have to coordinate OR time with my surgeon and an plastic surgeon. In speaking with many people, I finally opted for a lumpectomy. I was told, you can always change your mind later and opt for the mastectomy but there's no going back with initially deciding mastectomy. The mastectomy would have been 6-8 weeks out whereas I was able to have my lumpectomy within 11 days from date of diagnosis. If I had it my way though, I would have had them cut it out the day of the consultation.
Surgery was on 12/28. The day of, I was nervous as crap. I was really fortunate though to be able to have an amazing support system. Adam, my family, and so many colleagues from work came to support me. My boss even came to sit with us for 5 hours before we went in to the OR. Prior to having surgery, they had to do what they call wire localization. The doctor who performed my original biopsy had to insert a wire where the tumor was for the surgeon to locate it during surgery and inject a dye that would notify the surgeon which lymph node the breast tissue drains to for the sentinel node biopsy. He numbed the area up and tried to see if he could feel the lump but couldn't. He told me, "I hope you realize the miracle you've had in finding this when you did." I couldn't agree more. No one could feel it, the mammogram didn't show anything due to dense tissue, and we only saw it on the ultrasound. He put the wire in and injected the dye and before I knew it, I was on my way back to the OR. All in all, for as nervous as I was for that part, that was nothing.
In the end, GREAT SUCCESS!!! The surgery went well, and I just woke up kinda loopy. Adam couldn't wait to get me home and was practically dragging me out of the recovery room when we were stopped because I had to be wheeled out in a wheelchair. I don't think I even got all of my discharge paperwork.
About a week later, I got the final pathology report. I had negative margins meaning they got all of the cancer out. They ended up removing 2 lymph nodes under my arm. The first lymph node showed micrometastesis for cancer cell (really really small amount of cancer). The second lymph node was clean. As scary as the lymph node sounds, they were confident enough they got it all that I didn't even need to have more surgery to remove more lymph nodes. Obviously if I had a choice, I wouldn't want cancer in my lymph nodes but this is overall pretty good. The final tumor size was 1.4cm. Final stage was Stage 1B.
So...all in all...prognosis is really good. My team is confident that granted the next year is going to suck but then I'm going to go on living my life.
With the HER2+ and the micrometastesis, the recommendation from my medical oncologist is chemo, radiation, Herceptin, and hormonal therapy. Because of this, we'll be going through IVF before the start of chemo. Needless to say, C-Day (chemo day) starts 2/1 so there is a lot that needs to happen before now and then.
I was told I'm going to lose my hair so to acclimate myself to this, I've decided I'm not going to let cancer own me any more than it already has. I'm going to shave my head when I'm ready to. But....to ease into the process, I'll be cutting my hair tomorrow. Oddly enough it costs more to use your own hair for a wig than someone else's. SO...tomorrow we will be going to a salon and cutting my hair. We'll be sure to post before & after pics :)
I never found a lump. I actually had some dimpling and my skin looked a little funny but that was it. So I went to the doctor in early December but was told I was fine and to put my mind at ease, I could come back in January to see my original doctor (who was away at a conference at the time). Well, a week passed and there wasn't any changes so I called and got back in to see the doctor. This time, I saw my doctor and she also didn't feel a lump but agreed it was a little suspicious. So I ended up having an ultrasound, mammogram and biopsy done on 12/14.
On 12/17 I got a phone call stating that it was Stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma. Invasive ductal carcinoma is the most common type of breast cancer that women get. I can't even begin to try to explain the feeling I had as the doctor was telling me. I could tell he hated this part of his job and he felt really bad having to deliver this news to me. In my head, it was like tunnel vision as I was trying to come to terms with what I was being told but I couldn't deal. I was at work and just broke. My boss actually saw me on the phone and she knew right away. I ended up having to call the doctor back once I was calm because I felt like I had to know everything he did. He told me it was Stage 1 grade 2 (meaning average growth).
The next day I had an appointment with a surgeon and my breast care team. They presented me the facts and Adam was right there with me to take it all in (in case I forgot any of the details). I got to speak with some nurse navigators who were also breast cancer survivors too which I found incredibly encouraging knowing that they made it through all this and knew what I was going through. We also had a breast MRI done that day.
In looking back at that 1st week, the worst part was the waiting. Waiting to find out more information...waiting to see if this was going to kill me....waiting to see if there was more cancer...I was a mess. I didn't want to eat and it took everything I had to keep it together as best as I could. Thankfully Adam has been by my side the whole time. I was also fortunate to have my family supporting me through all of this (yes, that include you in-laws too!). We got the final MRI results back and learned there wasn't any more cancer showing up on the MRI! Yay!
It was around this time that we also learned that the cancer was ER+ and PR+. This has to do with my hormones making the cancer grow and overall is a good factor because there are medications available now to help treat this. I also learned that the cancer was HER2+. This on the other hand is good/bad. It's another indicator on how the cancer grows based on duplicate copies of protein being made. As my surgeon put it, it's bad because it's an indicator for the cancer being more aggressive, but it's good because they also have medication now to help treat this as well. All in all, the way I see it is that we caught it early enough before it had the chance to become really bad. Again, soooo thankful that we caught it when we did.
From there it was a matter of making the decision between a lumpectomy and a mastectomy. With the lumpectomy, they just remove the tumor site and some surrounding healthy tissue whereas a mastectomy they remove almost all of the breast tissue. I was able to get the lumpectomy sooner than the mastectomy because the mastectomy would include reconstruction and we'd then have to coordinate OR time with my surgeon and an plastic surgeon. In speaking with many people, I finally opted for a lumpectomy. I was told, you can always change your mind later and opt for the mastectomy but there's no going back with initially deciding mastectomy. The mastectomy would have been 6-8 weeks out whereas I was able to have my lumpectomy within 11 days from date of diagnosis. If I had it my way though, I would have had them cut it out the day of the consultation.
Surgery was on 12/28. The day of, I was nervous as crap. I was really fortunate though to be able to have an amazing support system. Adam, my family, and so many colleagues from work came to support me. My boss even came to sit with us for 5 hours before we went in to the OR. Prior to having surgery, they had to do what they call wire localization. The doctor who performed my original biopsy had to insert a wire where the tumor was for the surgeon to locate it during surgery and inject a dye that would notify the surgeon which lymph node the breast tissue drains to for the sentinel node biopsy. He numbed the area up and tried to see if he could feel the lump but couldn't. He told me, "I hope you realize the miracle you've had in finding this when you did." I couldn't agree more. No one could feel it, the mammogram didn't show anything due to dense tissue, and we only saw it on the ultrasound. He put the wire in and injected the dye and before I knew it, I was on my way back to the OR. All in all, for as nervous as I was for that part, that was nothing.
In the end, GREAT SUCCESS!!! The surgery went well, and I just woke up kinda loopy. Adam couldn't wait to get me home and was practically dragging me out of the recovery room when we were stopped because I had to be wheeled out in a wheelchair. I don't think I even got all of my discharge paperwork.
About a week later, I got the final pathology report. I had negative margins meaning they got all of the cancer out. They ended up removing 2 lymph nodes under my arm. The first lymph node showed micrometastesis for cancer cell (really really small amount of cancer). The second lymph node was clean. As scary as the lymph node sounds, they were confident enough they got it all that I didn't even need to have more surgery to remove more lymph nodes. Obviously if I had a choice, I wouldn't want cancer in my lymph nodes but this is overall pretty good. The final tumor size was 1.4cm. Final stage was Stage 1B.
So...all in all...prognosis is really good. My team is confident that granted the next year is going to suck but then I'm going to go on living my life.
With the HER2+ and the micrometastesis, the recommendation from my medical oncologist is chemo, radiation, Herceptin, and hormonal therapy. Because of this, we'll be going through IVF before the start of chemo. Needless to say, C-Day (chemo day) starts 2/1 so there is a lot that needs to happen before now and then.
I was told I'm going to lose my hair so to acclimate myself to this, I've decided I'm not going to let cancer own me any more than it already has. I'm going to shave my head when I'm ready to. But....to ease into the process, I'll be cutting my hair tomorrow. Oddly enough it costs more to use your own hair for a wig than someone else's. SO...tomorrow we will be going to a salon and cutting my hair. We'll be sure to post before & after pics :)
I'm ready
In thinking of how my life has changed in 1 month: I went from Miss to Mrs., became Aunt Katie, and recieved a breast cancer diagnosis in the span of 5 days. I'll get in to more detail about the cancer later but want to really define what the purpose of this blog is about.
I've learned in this short time that a person's life can change at the drop of a hat. Some times these changes last a life time. It's what you do with these changes and how you let it affect you that help define your perspective and overall outlook in life. For me, I've decided that I'm still Katie. I'm still alive and just like every other hurdle that comes up in life, I'm going to overcome it.
My name is Katie....I'm 27 years old....and on 12/17/12 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I hope that in writing this blog, I'm able to reach out to others who are going through this and also reach other women on the importance of being aware of your own body. I thought breast cancer was something that happened to women who were in their 40's or who had a family history. I have none. I never did my monthly self breast exams and I didn't even feel a lump....but I'll tell you one thing...cancer found me.
So I've got one thing to say cancer....you want a fight....you've got it!
I've learned in this short time that a person's life can change at the drop of a hat. Some times these changes last a life time. It's what you do with these changes and how you let it affect you that help define your perspective and overall outlook in life. For me, I've decided that I'm still Katie. I'm still alive and just like every other hurdle that comes up in life, I'm going to overcome it.
My name is Katie....I'm 27 years old....and on 12/17/12 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I hope that in writing this blog, I'm able to reach out to others who are going through this and also reach other women on the importance of being aware of your own body. I thought breast cancer was something that happened to women who were in their 40's or who had a family history. I have none. I never did my monthly self breast exams and I didn't even feel a lump....but I'll tell you one thing...cancer found me.
So I've got one thing to say cancer....you want a fight....you've got it!
Giving Back
Today was a day where I was finally able to do something I've wanted to do for a while now by getting more involved with volunteer work. Even with everything that has been going on this past month, this was a nice distraction back to "normal". We volunteered at a Homeless Veterans standdown at the DC VAMC today.
I cannot explain the reality check this event put me in seeing the men and women who once served our country in need of our help. The volunteers and services there really do care about the men and women trying to help them get these veterans off the streets and improve their overall quality of life. Seeing the hundreds of volunteers and services taking time out of their Saturday to come together and work as a team to help these veterans was nothing short of admirable. Overall....great success! It makes me realize that no matter what you may have going on in your life, it's always important to be sure to give back to the world and do something to help your fellow mankind.
What could you do today to make a difference in the lives of other's?
I cannot explain the reality check this event put me in seeing the men and women who once served our country in need of our help. The volunteers and services there really do care about the men and women trying to help them get these veterans off the streets and improve their overall quality of life. Seeing the hundreds of volunteers and services taking time out of their Saturday to come together and work as a team to help these veterans was nothing short of admirable. Overall....great success! It makes me realize that no matter what you may have going on in your life, it's always important to be sure to give back to the world and do something to help your fellow mankind.
What could you do today to make a difference in the lives of other's?
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